


I don't want to talk about it

by CCKK12



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-21 19:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCKK12/pseuds/CCKK12
Summary: Superheroes don't need therapy. Their job is to save the world. They sure can handle everything they have to face in the aftermath… right? What happens when they are required to spend one hour every week with a psychologist? Is it a total waste of time?





	1. Stella - Natasha I

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters, only the ones I created.
> 
> This is a fic already posted on Fanfiction.net but I decided to repost it here too. It's already completed so it will be up very soon :)
> 
> There is a minor Clintasha line so there is no farm and Laura and kids in this one. Also the whole Phil-Coulson-dying scene didn't happen either, he is alive and well.

**Name: Stella Moon**

**Species: Human**

**Date of birth: March 12, 1990**

**Place of birth: United States of America**

**Citizenship: American**

**Occupation: Psychologist**

**Family status: Single**

 

It is not an easy job. Not long after the foundation of the Avengers it became painfully obvious that the members of the team did not cope well with the stress of the job. I don’t exactly know what happened before I was employed, but there were rumours about a conference room in the need of restoration. So now every one of them was required to spend an hour on therapy with me every week, even Fury. The reactions were quite diverse, to say the least.

As for me, I knew it was not easy when I started to work with them. The salary was great and the job came with huge benefits and also challenges. To give up my personal life did not seem too big of a sacrifice for the moment. I never quite succeeded at the field of romantic relationships after all, and I was fine with that. It was probably still better than in some of my new patients’ cases.

* * *

 

**File ID: 90452 - two weeks after the battle of NY**

**Name: Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow**

**Species: Human**

**Date of birth: November 22, 1984**

**Place of birth: Soviet Union**

**Citizenship: Soviet, Russian, American**

**Occupation: Spy**

**Family status: Single (?) (note: the question made the patient snicker)**

 

“Thank you for taking the time to see me. I know how busy you are,” I start as I sit down in my armchair.

Natasha sits across me on the sofa with her legs crossed under her. She shrugs. “It wasn’t exactly my decision, Miss Moon. There were indications that I shall show up here every Monday at 12am if I want to keep this job.”

“Well, I am still glad to see you cooperate. There was a session with the patient brought in by two agents. Then they waited at the door for us to finish.”

She smiles at that. “Thor?”

“Tony,” I respond. At her laughter I add, “don’t tell anyone, please.”

She presses her thumb and index finger together and drags them across her lips. “I can keep one more secret.”

I nod. “How are you, Natasha?”

“Today or in general?”

“Let’s start with today. Busy day?“

“I’m fine. I only got one training for today. With Steve.”

“Are you worried about it?”

She smirks at me. “Not really. He still doesn’t like beating up women.”

“What about in general? Do you have something you want to share with me?” I ask.

“Why, so you can report it back to the boss?”

I shake my head. “Absolutely not. Nothing gets out of here. I’m bound by the obligation of confidentiality.”

“There are no secrets here,” Natasha replies.

I sigh. I didn’t have the illusion that I would have an easy job with Natasha, but I guess I still had a ray of hope about it. Not anymore. I decide to change strategy. “Speaking of which, I’ve heard you had a brawl with agent Barton. Did you get that from him?” I ask glancing at a bruise on her neck, the kind that looks like a hickey but could be also caused by a punch.

She shrugs but does not answer. “Do you have sexual relationship with agent Barton?” I prod.

This time her eyes flash savagely when she looks at me. “What does this have to do with my job?” she asks.

“You must know that human relationships always influence an agent’s performance.”

She sighs. “No, I do not.”

“As of now?” I can see her grit her teeth.

“I have never had any kind of relationship with agent Barton. If you want to know if I slept with him, yes, of course I did. But not recently.”

I’m surprised at the natural tone she uses to say she got intimate with her colleague, but I move on quickly. “Why?” I ask simply.

“Why did I sleep with him?” I nod. She does not answer.

“Natasha,” I start slowly. “You use sex. I’ve read the reports. Everyone knows that you are the one to get sent on missions where someone needs to be seduced. Have you ever had a relationship with a man or woman in which sex didn’t come with a price? When you did it because you wanted it and you liked it?”

She looks at me for a long minute and then curses in Russian. “I do not want to talk about sex.”

“What would you rather talk about? Your friendship with agent Barton?” She shifts in her seat.

“That’s not a friendship.”

“How would you describe your relationship then?”

“You didn’t pay attention, Miss Moon. I said we don’t have any relationship.”

“I know what you said, Natasha. But two colleagues always have some kind of relationship.”

“He’s my partner.”

“Do you trust him?”

She shakes her head. “I do not trust anyone.”

“Why?”

“Because nobody gave me a reason to.”

“More than one of the Avengers saved your life in the past.”

“Because it is their job.”

It doesn’t seem the right direction. I decide to return to the previous topic. “Should we expect another brawl between you and agent Barton in the near future?”

“Oh, not today, no,” she replies with an almost sweet smile. She obviously enjoys my struggle.

“What did you fight about?”

“We didn’t fight. We just had a brawl.”

“Why?”

She clicks her tongue in irritation. “Why do you keep asking me that? Why I slept with Clint, why I brawled with Clint, what my friendship with Clint is like? It’s enough. I don’t want to talk to you about Clint. It’s our business if I shag him, if I break his nose, if we go for a drink. His business and mine. Not yours, not Fury’s, not Coulson’s.”

I take a deep breath. “You are right. But I am not here to pry into your personal life. I am here to help you.”

“Help me with what?”

“Help you process things.”

“I don’t have anything to process.”

“Does that mean we can talk about New York?”

She nods slowly. “We can. But you’d better not ask how it felt to see Clint murder our men.”

“How did it feel to see the city collapse around you?”

Natasha looks at me blankly. “It felt like a Tuesday afternoon.”

“How did it feel knowing Tony Stark is about to die? When you closed that hole anyway?

“What do you want to hear, Miss Moon? That it was terrible? Do you want confirmation that I have emotions? I don’t. I was thirteen when I killed for the first time. Emotions are for children. Look at what happens to those who do have them. Thor should have killed Loki, but he didn’t. Stark makes mistakes one after the other. Steve still didn’t manage to get over that getting-frozen story, though he should be happy he’s alive.”

“What about agent Barton?”

Natasha gives me a warning glare and stands up. “It is enough for today, Miss Moon.”

I nod. She is probably right. I stand as well and stretch out my arm to shake her hand. “Well, thank you for your cooperation. I will see you next week.”

She doesn’t accept my hand. She turns around and leaves my room without saying goodbye.


	2. Tony I

**File ID: 81300 - 10 days after the battle of NY**

**Name: Anthony Edward Stark/Iron Man**

**Species: Human**

**Date of birth: May 05, 1970**

**Place of birth: United States of America**

**Citizenship: American**

**Occupation: CEO, Stark Industries, Consultant, SHIELD**

**Family status: In a relationship (note: patient added: “I guess so”)**

 

Tony Stark does not arrive to my room alone. He is followed by two agents and as soon as he sits down on the sofa he pulls out his phone.

“Am I bothering?” I ask. He hums scrolling on the phone. “Tony-”

“Look, ma’am. I don’t need this,” he finally says without lifting his gaze from the screen.

“That is not your decision, Tony,” I reply. “Everyone has to see me. This therapy isn’t optional.” I pause. “Are you afraid of the things we might discover if you talk to me?” I ask. Hearing the question Tony sets the phone next to him on the sofa with a huff.

“Stella Moon, is that right?” I nod. “Can I call you Stella?”

“As you prefer.”

“So Stella, I want you to know that I am not afraid of anything. Especially not of this sofa and a little girl who majored in a pseudo science only because she didn’t have a better idea.” I wait silently while I look into his eyes. He turns his gaze away first. I don’t take offence to what he said - it’s not the first time I hear it, and damn sure it’s not the last.

“Are you sure? Just because two agents are still guarding my door in case you want to leave too early.” It is easy to see he wants to retort, but he remains silent. I look at him with a neutrally polite smile.

“Tell me about yourself, Tony. How are you these days?”

He sighs in irritation. “I’m fine. Working on new suits. And I continue the trainings.”

“Already? Shouldn’t you rest a bit more?”

“Why should I? Because I fell from space?”

I nod. “For example, yes.”

“It’s okay. The doc said I’m alright.”

“And Pepper doesn’t mind?”

He frowns. “How does Pepper come into this conversation?”

“Are you not together?”

“I didn’t know you were going to question me about my girlfriend. I wouldn’t have come if I did.”

“You didn’t quite come here, Tony. You were brought in.” I pause. “Do you not want to talk about Pepper?”

“Only if you tell me about your boyfriend.” I raise my eyebrow. “What?” Tony asks smiling, “you don’t like intimate questions?”

“It’s not about that,” I respond. “But I don’t have a boyfriend.” At that Tony looks over me with a gaze that Miss Potts certainly would not like. I know he is doing it to embarrass me, but I do hope I don’t blush. There is something in Tony Stark that is impossible to resist.

“Oh really? How come?”

“I don’t have time for dating and I am yet to find a man I can put up with for more than six months.

Before he could answer, I go on. “You are basically the most famous Avenger. It must be a burden.”

“Oh, no. No, the most famous one is Captain America. Patron saint of our country. Ask Perfect Rogers how big of a burden it is.”

“Are you bothered by the fact that Steve Rogers draws some of the attention to himself?”

“I’m bothered by the fact that he lacks the basis to do so,” Tony admits. “I designed everything for myself. I built Iron Man from nothing. But Steve? Steve got a shield from my father and a vial of strength, that’s all. I can fly right into a murderous alien horde with a rocket on my shoulders, but he whirls that stupid shield and everyone sees only him.” He falls silent. He seems rather flustered.

“Do you have conflicts? Arguments?”

He chuckles. “You should ask if we ever have periods when we are not arguing. The Cap knows everything and knows everything better.”

“What about the other team members? I’ve heard you spend quite a lot of time with Mr Banner.”

“Banner understands what I talk about. Feels nice.”

“What about Pepper?”

Tony rolls his eyes. “I really don’t get it. Why are you fixated on Pepper? She is not a physicist. Pepper is a businesswoman.”

“But does she understand you?” He thinks for a moment.

“Yes. She does. Pepper is wonderful, really. And the most wonderful thing about her is that she tolerates me.”

“Is it hard? To tolerate you?”

“What else could it mean that even Captain Kindness is unable to?” The remark makes me smile which he obviously takes as encouragement. He relaxes on the sofa.

“Are you happy, Tony?” I finally ask.

Long moments pass before he replies. “Course I am.” He lies, but I let him.

“How did it feel to sacrifice your life in the battle?” I attempt to switch the topic.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Millions would have died if I hadn’t done it. I didn’t have a choice.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Is that so?” He doesn’t answer. “Don’t you think that the reason behind these conflicts with Steve is that you and he are the same?” He stares at me and then laughs again.

“This is ridiculous.”

“You both have an intrinsic need to save everyone around you. Both of you know everything and know everything better. You both want to make the world a better place while fighting off your own demons. You both have suffered great losses.”

As I speak he gets more and more sullen. “As I said, this is ridiculous,” he claims. “The only thing we have in common is that my father was his too.”

“What do you mean?” He rolls his eyes.

“You know what I mean, Stella. During my childhood I kept hearing about Steve. Mostly from my own father. About how strong and intelligent and brave and generous he was. How do you think it was to grow up seeing that the one person you look up to looks up higher worshipping the local hero?”

“It must have been hard.”

“It was.”

“Are you mad at him?”

“At Steve? It goes without saying.”

“At your father.”

He stops to think again. “No. He did what he thought was right.”

“Was he a good father?”

“A marvellous father to Captain America,” Tony responded. “Now listen, ever since you said you don’t have a boyfriend I’ve been thinking about why you haven’t found anyone.”

I let him control the discussion - or let him think he does. “Well, they say psychologists choose this profession to heal themselves. Maybe I have issues,” I answer with a smirk.

“Oh is that so? It’s getting exciting.”

I smile and lower my notepad. “I hate to have to interrupt the session right now,” I say standing up. “We’ll take it up next week from here.”

“Come on. You just started to open up,” Tony whines. He stands up reluctantly and shakes my hand.

“I’ll see you next week.”

“Right.” Perhaps next time we can do it without the agents, I muse, but I would not bet on it yet.


	3. Clint I

**File ID: 72311 - 16 days after the battle of NY**

**Name: Clinton Francis Barton/Hawkeye**

**Species: Human**

**Date of birth: January 07, 1971**

**Place of birth: United States of America**

**Citizenship: American**

**Occupation: Agent of SHIELD**

**Family status: No comment (note: info from T.S.: single)**

 

Clint Barton waits for me in the corridor when I arrive to my office with my morning coffee. I smile at him and reach my hand out. “Agent Barton? Nice to meet you, I’m Stella Moon. Do you mind if I finish this?” I ask.

Clint smiles at me and shakes my hand confidently. “Of course not, Miss Moon.” We take our seats in the room and I set my coffee on the small table between us.

“You are perfectly on time. Do you have a reason to be?”

He shrugs. “I was at the shooting range. I just finished, I thought if we start a bit earlier, I might have time to go back to bed.”

“Didn’t you have enough sleep last night?”

“Didn’t have a good sleep,” he corrects. As I remain silent, he adds, “nightmares.”

“Are they frequent?”

“Recently yes.”

“What are they about?” He doesn’t respond, instead he drops his gaze to his intertwined fingers in his lap. “About the battle? Or what happened before?” He sighs.

“The others told me that you don’t quite beat around the bush.”

“I don’t think it’s part of my job requirements.” He looks at me with a smirk but as he starts speaking, his tone is serious.

“You see, Miss Moon, I probably killed about 10-20 of our men. Nobody tells me the exact number. It’s natural if I dream about them, right?” The question started as a statement, but at the end of it Clint seems rather worried. Is his mental state progressing in the right way? Is he coping well?

“Absolutely natural,” I comfort him. “Does it bother you that you don’t know the precise number?”

“Yes,” he replies without hesitation. “They say it was not my fault. That I should not think about it at all. But if it truly wasn’t my fault, why don’t they treat me equally?”

“How do they treat you?”

“As if I were some fragile kid who can’t take the truth.”

“Do you feel they are not honest with you?”

“It’s not a feeling. They are quite straightforward about hiding the details of that… incident from me.”

“If it had happened to someone else, would you give them the exact number?” He thinks for a moment.

“To Banner, no, he probably couldn’t take it. Neither to Stark. To Steve, perhaps. I would give it to Thor right away though. He is a god. He doesn’t concern himself with human suffering.” I wait but he doesn’t continue the list. I have to ask directly.

“What about agent Romanoff?” He laughs at the question but without any mirth.

“Agent Romanoff has her own methods to coax information out of people. My intention would not matter in that case.”

“Does she do it to you?”

“Do what?” he asks back. He stalls for time.

“Does she manipulate you? Has she ever?” He gives the same mirthless snicker, shaking his head.

“It is her hobby.”

I sip my coffee letting him alone with his thoughts for a little while. “How would you describe your relationship with agent Romanoff?”

I can see he expected the question. “We’re friends.”

“How long have you been working together?”

“Ten years or so.”

“I’ve read you saved her life.” He shrugs. “According to your files you always executed your orders perfectly until that point. You received one to eliminate Black Widow and you refused to complete the mission.”

“That’s correct,” he answers simply.

“Why?”

“Because she was just a kid.”

“A trained assassin.”

“Who never had the chance to choose a different path. I gave it to her.” It is tempting to ask him if he did it just out of human kindness or it was the first time right there that Natasha manipulated him, but I refrain from it.

“Do you ever think you made a mistake that time?”

I enraged him if his cold glance is any indication. “Nat saved my life just as many times as I did hers. And she is one I can trust. I wouldn’t do it any differently.”

“You had a brawl with her a couple of days ago.”

He raises his eyebrow. “So?”

“Do you do it often?”

“Often enough.” Barton is the more communicative of the two, so it must mean something that I cannot get him talk about the brawl. It intrigues me further, although it is not necessarily my professional curiosity.

“When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?” I switch the topic.

“I don’t know, when I was five?” He replies shrugging.

I take a deep breath. “I’m asking because if sleep deprivation causes you problems, you might need medication.”

He hisses sharply. “Not a chance.”

“Clint-”

“Not. A. Chance,” he repeats almost threateningly.

“Your colleagues don’t have to know about it if you don’t want them to. Every doctor who works here needs to respect the the obligation of confidentiality.” He obviously expected me to drop the topic after the tone he used and now he rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“No. You certainly know that we live under constant threat here. If anything should happen it is imperative that I react immediately. We have to be prepared at all times.“

“It must be exhausting.”

“It is.”

I try to turn it around. “But don’t you think that you being constantly sleep deprived carries a significant risk as well?”

“I am used to it. To be honest none of us sleep well.”

“Alright.” I pause. After some moments he nods. He seems relieved. “Can we talk about New York?”

“What do you want to know?”

“I’d like to talk about the way you felt during the battle.”

He raises an eyebrow. “This question makes no sense, Miss Moon. No sense at all. This is my job. Should it touch me?”

“Not necessarily. It doesn’t?”

“No. It does not.” It seems his answers turn less and less honest. He feeds them to me to distract me from having a real discussion with him. I put my pen and notepad on the coffee table.

“Well, that would be it for today then. Thank you for your time.”

“So we’re done?” he asks as we stand up and shake hands.

“Yes. I’ll see you next week.”

“Oh.” The realisation makes him frown. “I just thought-”

“No, you have to show up every week,” I interrupt. “I hope it is not a problem for you?”

“Of course not.”


	4. Stella - Bruce I

**Incident Report ID 4301**

**Summary: agents N.R. and C.B. found in office 302 on the top of the round table**

**Agent C.B. missing his shirt**

**Suspicion of physical assault and/or indecent behaviour**

**Present at the enquiry: Fury, Nicholas, Coulson, Phillip,**

**Romanoff, Natasha, Barton, Clinton**

 

**N.F.** I have to say I am starting to doubt it is worth to keep you two on the team. I keep wasting my time on this kind of hearings. Let’s get it over with quickly. What happened?

**N.R.** A misunderstanding, sir. We resolved it.

**C.B.** It won’t happen again, sir.

**N.F.** Coulson, do you recall what agent Romanoff and agent Barton said the last time we found them in the same position?

**P.C.** Something about a misunderstanding that won’t happen again, sir.

**N.F.** That’s right. So I’ll ask again. What happened in there? What was the source of the conflict that you decided to resolve the usual way?

**N.R.** Different opinions on certain professional matters.

**N.F.** Elaborate.

**C.B.** Ladybug here doesn’t know that she doesn’t always need to get into bed with her targets.

**N.F.** Are you serious?

**C.B.** Absolutely, sir. She kept me waiting for four hours before-

**N.R.** Two hours, and if you call me _ladybug_ again-

**N.F.** When did this happen?

**N.R.** At the mission in Bogotá.

**P.C.** Three years ago, sir.

**N.F.** Do I have to replace the table in 302 over some…

 

“ _Miss Moon._ ” As I look up from the file, I see agent Hill with a curious and at the same time reprimanding expression. “What are you doing here?”

I close the folder. “I thought checking on some past conflicts would help me understand my patients,” I say as confidently as I can, as if I weren’t hiding in a secluded corner of the archives just before 5am. “Neither of them told me anything, so…”

Hill taps her foot on the ground impatiently. “You can only come here with a special permission from Director Fury.” I wait a little trying to pretend I didn’t know that before I nod.

“I’m sorry. I’ll just go back to my room.” She nods in approval. When she turns to leave, I open the folder again.

 

**N.F.** Do I have to replace the table in 302 over some jealous fight you had about a mission from three years ago?

**C.B.** It’s about tactics and consideration towards your partner, sir.

**N.R.** This is ridiculous and you know it, Barton. It was about…

 

“ _Miss Moon._ ” Hill’s voice comes from the door this time that I suppose she holds open for me just to be sure I leave the archives.

“Coming,” I call back dropping the folder back in the drawer full of similar folders and files under the name “N.R. & C.B.”

* * *

**File ID: 64220 - 17 days after the battle of NY**

**Name: Robert Bruce Banner/Hulk**

**Species: Human**

**Date of birth: December 18, 1969**

**Place of birth: United States of America**

**Citizenship: American**

**Occupation: Physicist**

**Family status: Single (note: patient laughed at the question)**

 

“Is everything alright, Bruce?” I ask as I watch Banner squirm on the sofa. He smiles at me tentatively.

“Yes, I just… Miss Moon, don’t get me wrong, I would like this to go as smoothly as possible, but are you safe? We are in a closed room.” He hesitates before adding, “and I might get angry.”

“Don’t worry, Bruce. Look, see this?” I ask indicating a red button on the inner side of the arm of my armchair. “If I press this, the sofa you’re sitting on will engulf you, so to speak. And a lot of agents will barge in this room. With guns.” He nods and tries to relax against the back of the sofa.

“Let’s hope it’s enough.”

“But I don’t think we’ll need such measures, honestly. I don’t mean to upset you in any way. I just want to talk.”

He nods slowly and I start with the session. “How are you, Bruce?”

He looks at me as if trying to decide if I was joking. “Great,” he says. “Great.” He rubs his palms together. “I am not sure, you did get the memo about me being a giant green monster, right?”

I press my lips together. “I might have heard something about it,” I respond. “But the battle of New York showed it can be a good thing, didn’t it?”

He huffs. “People are hysterical. We demolished Manhattan.”

“And saved it successfully in the process.”

“That’s the part they don’t really talk about.”

“Well, now we can talk about it. You are heroes now. How does that feel?”

He shrugs. “I don’t feel like a hero. I just want to do my job.”

“Which would be?”

“Helping people, I suppose.” He looks tired and somewhat annoyed, even.

“Do you think you’re wasting your time here?” I ask.

“We all do,” Bruce answers. “Don’t get me wrong, I think therapy has its positive effects, but we are in way too deep. We all have so many issues that it must be a huge work for you to do this and still, you barely scratch the surface.”

I remember my adventure in the archives. He’s right. “Think of it as one hour to talk freely about whatever you want to.”

“Whatever?” he repeats. “You won’t ask about the accident or about the battle?”

“Not if you don’t want me to. We can talk about anything. Your job, your newest researches, the last time Tony frustrated you. Anything, really.”

“What about you?” he asks thoughtfully. “Can we talk about you too?”

I nod. “If you wish. Although I am not sure what you could be possibly curious about.”

“Your name.” I raise my eyebrow. “ _Stella_ means star, doesn’t it?”

“Exactly. My parents probably were in a funny mood.” He smirks a little but then his expression turns serious again.

“How did you end up here, Miss Moon? Everyone with an ounce of common sense should avoid moving in with us.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“Look at us. It’s a group of people with skills and powers they can barely control and too much self confidence.”

“Are you worried about your colleagues, Bruce?”

“Of course I am,” he shrugs. “They think- we think we are able to prevent any disaster. It makes us an easy target. Then add to the mix the issues we all have, and you get a catastrophe hanging above our heads.” He looks back at me. “So, why are you here?”

As I promised him to talk about myself, I have to reply. “It seemed like a good opportunity. Professionally. And then, I was bored. Living with my parents did no good to our relationship and I didn’t want to search something else. I do enjoy psychology, but only with interesting patients.”

“That we are I imagine.”

I smile and nod. “Definitely.” I glance at the clock. “I suppose you have your work to get back to.” I didn’t think Banner would be harder to talk to than Romanoff or Stark, but it does seem so. We’d better stop this session before he gets to know much more about me than I do about him.

He seems relieved to be let go, although he can probably guess why. I am glad I have a week now to figure out how to handle him better next time.


	5. Steve I

**File ID: 58113 - 17 days after the battle of NY**

**Name: Steven Grant Rogers/Captain America**

**Species: Human**

**Date of birth: July 4, 1918**

**Place of birth: United States of America**

**Citizenship: American**

**Occupation: Soldier**

**Family status: Single**

 

Steve lies down on the sofa. He is the first one doing it which surprises me. He seemed shyer than that. He looks at me sideways with his hands behind his neck. “I hope it’s not a problem?” he asks.

“Of course not. However you feel comfortable.” He doesn’t move and he keeps his gaze on me. I continue before I could get embarrassed. “How are you recently, Steve?”

He smirks. “Can I leave if I say ‘great’?”

I smile back. “Look, I know you think you are fine, and maybe you are. But I do need this job. So perhaps you could help me out here?”

He sighs. That’s when I know I got him. “I imagine you are still having difficulties getting used to our world. How is it going?”

He shrugs. “Well, bad guys are still out there. I still work to catch them. I still have my shield. Sure, it’s hard to take in all the technological advancements, but I’m on it. It keeps me busy, at least.”

“Do you feel you need to be busy?”

“I like being busy,” he responds carefully.

“Do you have any reason for that?”

He turns his gaze to the ceiling. “It helps me concentrate on what matters.”

“What would that be?”

“The safety of the people. We are here to insure that.” I realise my easy feeling about him lying down was way too early. He doesn’t want to speak like none of them did before.

“Do you still find time to relax?” I ask. “What do you like doing when you are not saving the world?”

He shrugs. “I work out. Also, I read sometimes.”

“What about spending time with others?” I prod. It seems he plays the same game as the other Avengers. Talking but not saying anything. He raises his eyebrow.

“What about it?” he asks back.

“As far as I’ve heard you are quite the loner,” I explain.

“Does it surprise you?”

“No. On my second day I reached my limit. Nothing can surprise me anymore.”

“What was the critical moment?”

I smile. At least he is willing to engage in conversation, just not about himself. “I saw Fury pet a kitten,” I answer.

He starts laughing. “Are you kidding me?”

I shake my head. “At the top of the tower,” I add. “I think the cat is still around, someone probably started feeding it.”

He seems genuinely amused. “Now I understand why you seem to accept everything we tell you with the same neutral look.”

I shrug. “This is my job after all. I don’t mean to make any of you uncomfortable. I just need something to work with,” I explain.

He nods. “Fair enough. To answer your question, I am quite the loner. I find it hard to connect with the people around me.”

“Why is that?” I continue, relieved that he decided to cooperate.

“Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was born at the time my colleagues’ parents were.” I pause before reacting. Did Captain America just sass me? Does Tony know he has it in him?

“I am sure you have things in common with them,” I say.

“Well, let’s see,” he starts. “We have an actual god on the team. Not much common ground there. Then there is the spy duo. They have been working for SHIELD forever which makes it kind of complicated to make friends with them. They don’t trust anyone. Dr Banner tried to repeat what happened to me which led to his current state that he admittedly hates. And Stark just hates my guts.”

“This description certainly sounds like you’ve observed them closely.”

He nods. “I definitely have. I’m a soldier, you see. Or I was, anyway. It’s simple instinct to want to know who I work with.”

“What about you? How do you feel about Mr Stark?”

“He is good at what he does. He’s a successful businessman.”

“I imagine he would argue with that.”

“Obviously. He argues with everything I say. It doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Are you saying that the Iron Man concept is a business as well?”

He shrugs. “He surely has no problem selling it.”

I decide to switch the topic as the conflict between these two is too complicated to resolve so easily. Not that they seem willing to work on their issues. I am not sure if this will be a problem on the long run. I need more time to discover the dynamics in the team.

“Basically everyone knows your name after what happened in New York. Is it hard to process the fame?”

“Not really if I don’t leave this building,” he shrugs. I smile. Captain America can be most definitely sassy if he wants to.

“You must be used to it to a certain degree. You were quite popular back then.”

He remains silent for a while. “I don’t really want to talk about those days, Miss Moon. Not today.”

I nod. “Alright. What would you rather talk about? Your romantic life?” Risky question. His bitter huff shows this is not what he would rather talk about.

“Have you heard something?”

“I’ve read the reports. They mention Peggy Carter as your former love interest.”

The sound he tries to muffle in his throat resembles to a deep growl. “Amazing,” he snaps. “ _Former love interest._ She obviously has to be in the reports.”

“Do you think it is not relevant to your file?”

“Yes. Yes I do. I think it is not your business what Peggy Carter meant to me back then.” I don’t respond, so he continues. “Nobody asked me if I wanted to be defrosted. If I wanted to continue my life in an age where everything is different from the world I grew up in and gave my life to save. And now you want me to talk about what I lost? The people I trusted and loved are either dead or about to die. It’s hilarious that you get to read about them in those reports while I’m only left with memories from another life.”

I take a deep breath. Now he sits stiffly on the sofa with his cold glance fixed on me. This time I don’t have the chance to get distracted by his muscled arms as he doesn’t release my gaze.

“Do you have a lot of feelings like that bottled up inside you?”

He shakes his head. “Miss Moon, I am fine, alright? I’m great. My romantic life is now on the back burner. It is my choice. I like it this way. I don’t need more complications in my life.”

“Would a romantic relationship mean complications?”

“Doesn’t it always?”

I have to give him that. Biting my lip, I nod and smile at him. “Thank you for your time. The session is over now, I’ll see you next week.”

His relief can be easily noticed as he stands up. Seeing him leave with a rather grim expression I wonder if next time he would need to be brought in by the guards like Stark did.

Although I am still not sure how agent Hill would react to my little adventure in the archives, I can’t help wondering what I could find in Steve Rogers’ drawers if I were to go back and have a look.


	6. Fury I - Stella

**File ID: 15356 - 19 days after the battle of NY**

**Name: Nicholas Joseph Fury**

**Species: Human**

**Date of birth: December 21, 1951**

**Place of birth: United States of America**

**Citizenship: American**

**Occupation: Director of SHIELD**

**Family status: —**

 

I wait twenty minutes in my office before admitting to myself that Fury won’t come. I sigh and make my way to his office. I am able to reach it only because I ask an agent in the corridor how to get there.

“Sir?” I pass the two secretaries and make my way into the room where he sits behind a desk. He seems busy typing something so he barely looks up at me. The secretaries don’t follow me in here which tells me something about their relationship to their boss. “Sir, you have an appointment for the therapy. It was supposed to start thirty minutes ago.”

“I’ll pass, Miss Moon. Thank you,” he says.

I shook my head. “Not an option, sir. Everyone is supposed to show up. Including you.”

“Miss Moon,” Fury groans looking up at me. “I did not agree to this. Therefore I will not show up.”

“None of my patients agreed to this,” I retort. “And none like it,”I add. “You must have heard that Mr Stark was accompanied by two agents to my office.”

He scoffs. “I sent them.”

I bite back my smirk. “I understand your feelings about the session, but-”

“Hey, don’t go all shrink on me,” he cuts in.

I resist the urge to throw my hands in the air and shriek in exasperation. “Sir,” I start slowly. “I would like to do my job. That’s all I intend to do. Could you please help me out?”

“No,” he answers simply. “No. And if you sneak around the archives again, we’ll have an issue, is that clear?”

I hope I don’t blush at his words. Of course Hill ratted me out. Now I probably have a file in the archives too. I am pretty upset that I won’t have the possibility to go back and read on the other Avengers. Their unwillingness to share personal details frustrates me to no end. Knowing I lost my only chance to discover more is just annoying.

“Crystal clear, sir.” I respond. “But I will have an issue if you refuse to do the therapy as well. I signed a contract. And your name was on that contract.”

“Fine. We’ll find that contract and cross my name out.”

“That’s not how it works, sir,” I protest weakly. “It is just one hour per week.”

“One hour wasted, leaving only 167 to work with. Not a really good deal, is it?” he raises his eyebrow.

“If you put it that way, no,” I nod. “On the other hand, psychotherapy proved to be useful in numerous researches over the past decades, so that would give you one hour to insure you’ll be more productive during the other 167.”

Fury glances up at me with surprise in his eye. “That’s some impressive persuasion technique right there, Moon. Do you want a transfer to the negotiating team?” he asks me flatly. I have no idea if he is being sarcastic.

“No, sir, thank you.”

“What a pity. Now I suppose you can find your way out?” I sigh. I learned when to give up the fight against these patients, and Fury clearly doesn’t want to talk to me more.

“Next week I’ll wait for you again,” I say. He does not respond, just waves his hand as if I were an annoying fly. I leave the office followed by the threatening glares of the two secretaries.

* * *

 

**From: Maria Hill <** [ **maria.hill@shield.com** ](mailto:maria.hill@shield.com) **>**

**To: Stella Moon <** [ **stella.moon@shield.com** ](mailto:stella.moon@shield.com) **>**

**Date: May 24, 2012**

**Subject: Thor no show**

  
****

Dear Miss Moon,

 

Unfortunately I still don’t have any news about when your session with Thor could start. His whereabouts are not known at the moment, we are fairly sure he is not on Earth though. Please consider today afternoon taken off. Hopefully I’ll be able to tell you more next week.

Regards,

M. Hill

* * *

**Biweekly report on the Avengers - ID 01836**

**By Stella Moon - ID T453**

**Note: Thor was not available for the examined period**   
****

**N. Fury was not cooperative at all**

 

**General impressions:**

The first therapy sessions with five of the Avengers were similar: none of them wanted to engage in any meaningful conversation.  
 ****

When asked to pick a topic, they opted for talking about the therapist’s private/professional life.

They claim the battle of NY did not leave serious traces on them; they rather treat it as work.

 

**Patient: Natasha Romanoff**

Miss Romanoff, although obviously not interested in the therapy, was willing to cooperate.

She seems content with her current position as part of the Avengers.

Her relationships to the other members are unclear.

Her skills include manipulation, hand-to-hand combat, using her physical traits to get the upper hand.

Further investigation will be needed to determine if the patient requires medication or special therapy.

 

**Patient: Tony Stark**

Mr Stark was unwilling to participate at the session which resulted in him being taken in by SHIELD guards.

Despite the difficult start, I had no problems making him talk for the whole hour of the therapy.

He is easy to have a good work relationship with, but he has conflicts with S. Rogers.

I would find it useful to concentrate on that for the next sessions.

His intelligence is clearly extraordinary, he has a hard time turning his overthinking brain off.

 

**Patient: Clint Barton**

Mr Barton shared a lot of info with me without much prodding on my part, but he kept the most important bits to himself.

He is still processing what he had to go through when Loki possessed his mind. It seems the others do not hold anything of that incident against him which helps him heal.

He has a hard time falling asleep, but firmly refuses any medication.

His aim is perfect, he excelled at most modules of SHIELD’s basic training, but he seems to be able to keep up a personal life besides being an agent as well.

 

**Patient: Steve Rogers**

Mr Rogers came to the session because he received an order to.

He was polite and interested in the conversation, but still tried to keep the focus away from his personal life.

It seems the conflict with T. Stark is active rather on the other side. He does not harbour hard feelings.

I finished the session earlier as he got upset when I asked about his past. He was relieved to leave.

He has a strong sense of justice and the skills of an experienced leader.

 

**Conclusion:**

Working with the Avengers will be difficult, but I have the confidence to get positive results if givenenough time.

N. Fury will be needed to be convinced to join me on the session, if possible.

Thor’s whereabouts are unknown. Starting date of the therapy: unknown.


End file.
